Friday, December 30, 2016

Q/A Session with Ghost of President Abraham Lincoln

Q) What do you think of the current state the USA?
A) It’s doing much better now than when I was alive however I’m disgusted by the current political system which more often than not affords far too much power to complete morons.

Q) Who’s your favorite president not counting yourself?
A) I think I’ll have to go with Ronald Regan. The man kept the country afloat financially during his presidency with economic plans.

Q) Speaking of Presidents; if you were able to who would you vote for in the upcoming election?
A) It doesn’t matter. Your vote doesn’t really count. The entire election process is fixed and the winner is decided by big business. However, if I was able to cast a vote I would choose Chuck Baldwin because Baldwin would eliminate the corrupt Federal Reserve.

Q) If you could have changed one thing what would it be?
A) I would have sent Al (my double) to the theater the night I was shot.

Q) What’s something people don’t know about you?
A) I hate the name Honest Abe but it really helps when you bluff at cards.

Q) Ok, last question. What is your favorite thing about the “After Life”?
A) Well, there are two things I enjoy.
1) Fucking with George W. Bush. (I caused his pretzel problem)
2) Watching Jessica Simpson take a shower.

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